My supposedly role model

I'm trying to do something different. So I'm sorry if it seems funny. Inspired by poets found on a website I came across. Here it goes;


I thought I saw you in my dream
You said you love me
I never thought you could be so vulnerable
But that was all a dream

I pray and live on ecstasy
Taking any chance to escape reality
Sitting at a corner with a blade
I wanted it to end but to no avail

Lying in the hospital bed
Why did I survive?
Back home so I went
Instantly I saw red

Money went down the drain
Facts all too much to accept
Tormenting was all you knew
An innocent victim so I was

How could so much pain brought you joy?
How could so much sufferings gave you peace?
Was violence and lust all you knew?
Perhaps you should go back to school

I thought I saw you in my dream
Hitting me with a knife
At the end of it I saw a light
Never did I woke up from then

Wear a mask

I'd hide all the fears.
Drown all the tears.
So as not to let you see,
All that mattered inside of me.

Repeating to myself, time after time
Why does this seem like a crime?
You thought I was strong
Isn't one stupid move already wrong?

If something's not going your way,
Giving up won't make your day.
Too bad it has all end
(Oh I should have apprehend)

Perhaps one day you'll look back
And wish you had never pack
All those memories you have built
Because I know you're living with guilt


(I found this under drafts. Wrote it in sec 1. Wondered why I didn't publish it.)

Shakened.

Booming sounds from the radio,
In front of the TV with an oreo.
Pretty clouds form the day,
Nothing's going to go wrong in any way.

Pitter patter the rain fell softly
Hitting my head so gently.
Dark clouds approaching in a minute or two
I quickly took cover but that didn't do.

Lightning Striked Thunder Thud
My heart felt like it's covered with mud.
Head started spinning, Body felt like dying
Mind telling me to stop frowning.

That didn't help much,
And with just one touch,
More like a slam
No no no, not now! Damn!

She said dial the phone
He said stop before the ringing tone
Torn between the two
Confused; who am I suppose to confide in to?

Get me a blanket, it's too cold in here
If only I could disappear
Maybe I should run away
But what if it comes to May?

Deep inside wishing it will end,
I know I know! They're playing pretend!
It gets louder and so to them I go on and lie
As they were blinded by the drips, I said goodbye.