My supposedly role model

I'm trying to do something different. So I'm sorry if it seems funny. Inspired by poets found on a website I came across. Here it goes;


I thought I saw you in my dream
You said you love me
I never thought you could be so vulnerable
But that was all a dream

I pray and live on ecstasy
Taking any chance to escape reality
Sitting at a corner with a blade
I wanted it to end but to no avail

Lying in the hospital bed
Why did I survive?
Back home so I went
Instantly I saw red

Money went down the drain
Facts all too much to accept
Tormenting was all you knew
An innocent victim so I was

How could so much pain brought you joy?
How could so much sufferings gave you peace?
Was violence and lust all you knew?
Perhaps you should go back to school

I thought I saw you in my dream
Hitting me with a knife
At the end of it I saw a light
Never did I woke up from then

Wear a mask

I'd hide all the fears.
Drown all the tears.
So as not to let you see,
All that mattered inside of me.

Repeating to myself, time after time
Why does this seem like a crime?
You thought I was strong
Isn't one stupid move already wrong?

If something's not going your way,
Giving up won't make your day.
Too bad it has all end
(Oh I should have apprehend)

Perhaps one day you'll look back
And wish you had never pack
All those memories you have built
Because I know you're living with guilt


(I found this under drafts. Wrote it in sec 1. Wondered why I didn't publish it.)

Shakened.

Booming sounds from the radio,
In front of the TV with an oreo.
Pretty clouds form the day,
Nothing's going to go wrong in any way.

Pitter patter the rain fell softly
Hitting my head so gently.
Dark clouds approaching in a minute or two
I quickly took cover but that didn't do.

Lightning Striked Thunder Thud
My heart felt like it's covered with mud.
Head started spinning, Body felt like dying
Mind telling me to stop frowning.

That didn't help much,
And with just one touch,
More like a slam
No no no, not now! Damn!

She said dial the phone
He said stop before the ringing tone
Torn between the two
Confused; who am I suppose to confide in to?

Get me a blanket, it's too cold in here
If only I could disappear
Maybe I should run away
But what if it comes to May?

Deep inside wishing it will end,
I know I know! They're playing pretend!
It gets louder and so to them I go on and lie
As they were blinded by the drips, I said goodbye.

The way I used to see

Your eyes;
How it glittered
How it glowed
How it looked like when we were WE

Your hugs;
How it solaced
How it calmed
How it felt like when we were WE

Your hand;
How it embraced
How it protected
How it touched when we were WE

Your smile;
How it enliven
How it enchanted
How it melted (my heart) when we were WE

Your charm;
How it attracted
How it astonished
How it shined when we were WE

You;
How you changed
How you lie
How you disappoint when we are we

Close

Close can be scary.
Close can be weird.
Close makes me angry.
A feeling that's feared.

Close is freaky.
Close is unreal.
Close gives me insecurity.
It's just so surreal.

Close makes me happy
Close makes me smile
Close makes me fussy
It makes me grin all these while

Close can be mean.
Close makes me mad.
Close can be seen
As just another fad.

When nothing else matters,
Closeness binds us all.
Care less about the jitters,
We're certain it's not a downfall.

Not what it seems

Little Sally sat down thinking,
Why was her fate left dangling?
All the shouting was too absurd
In her head, she's bothered

Petite as she may seem
Inside she's heating up; oh-the-steam!
Everyone thinks she's alright
A lifestory she wants to rewrite

Why can't she be like her best friend, Zack?
His family says they have his back
Little Sally cried silently inside
Hers weren't there to preside

When little Sally was five
Her life wasn't much alive
She witness all those beatings
And not understanding her feelings

No siblings to rely on
She took out her drawing block and crayon
Doodled out what's bottled up
Then she heard the word "lockup"

She started getting scared
Her father flared
Her mother just screamed
Ohno! Blasphemed!

Sirens wailing
Little Sally covered her ears; too blaring
She craves for happiness
Now that's all hopeless

Little Sally sat down thinking
Why is her fate left dangling?
It's been eight years
But one thing never seem to stop flowing; her tears

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU

While stacking up those cards
I look upon the stars
There, I see you shining bright
And wishing you'll be alright

Now dear, don't you reminisce
'Cos I know there will be bliss
I want to see you strong
And you, to know that I'll be here all-day-long

Out there alone. You look pitiful.
And never once were you boastful.
Oh how I love the way you speak
It's really mystique

Don't think you'll be in redundancy
As I've told you this clearly
I'll run alongside with you
A conformity; A virtue

This is no falsity
I keep to what I said dearly.
And if there's anything you fear
My love, I'm here

waiting